"Love and Marriage"

It is a Bible scripture. It is a famous passage in love stories. It is also a popular quote for social media. But what does it really mean? Lets break it down as it pertains to marriage . . .

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

• Love is patient – Patient is defined as “bearing pains or trials calmly and without complaint.” Enough said ! When your relationship is going through a tough time, be patient. When your spouse if having a difficult time, be patient. Nothing lasts forever and this will pass. If you are patient you are increasing your chances of coming out of this time period in a good place. If you are not patient it is likely you will do more damage to your partner and your relationship.

• Love is kind – Kindness is defined as “having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature.” If you love your spouse, you will show kindness. This is the opposite of contempt, harsh words, or criticism.

• Love does not envy – Do not be jealous of your spouse. Jealousy comes from internal insecurity. So if you are envious, then it is a you problem, not a them problem. Work through that and be supportive of your spouse.

• Love does not boast – To boast means “to speak in exaggeration about ones self.” Nothing good can come from boasting about yourself to your spouse. When you boast about yourself you are lifting yourself up, which means you are overtly putting your spouse down. The boasting may be attractive to your spouse at first, but over time your spouse will most likely feel neglected because you are focused on yourself and not your spouse and the relationship.

• Love it is not proud. – Pride is not a bad thing when you deserve credit for an accomplishment or an act. However, pride can be damaging when you value your pride over admitting to your short comings. Many times in marriage, couples are to proud to admit they are wrong, or to proud to admit a problem exists. To humble ones self allows problems to be resolved and it allows short comings to be accepted. Remember, perfection does not exist !

• Love does not dishonor others – this is self explanatory. Dishonoring your spouse is a sure way to end up in divorce court. Dishonoring occurs when a betrayal takes place, when one lets others disrespect his or her spouse, or when one chooses to participate in an act that he or she knows will hurt the other.

• Love is not self-seeking – In a marriage, each partner should always be thinking about the nurturing of the other partner. Self seeking is human nature, and we all do it. However, if we only seek out what is fulfilling to our self needs, then we may be neglecting the needs of our partners. Reciprocity occurs (he takes care of her therefore she takes care of him), when both partners are not self seeking but seeking to please their partner.

• Love is not easily angered – If you are exercising patience, then you will not be easily angered. People should show compassion and grace to their spouses. This will breed connection. Anger only breeds hurt, pain, criticism, and disconnection. Words can not be unspoken.

• Love keeps no record of wrongs – score keeping is a sure way to cause disconnection, disinterest, and dissatisfaction to your spouse. Score keeping never works, and getting into tit for tat conversations are pointless. The reality is, things will never be perfectly even, so get over it and let it go.

• Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. – Truth, honesty, integrity, morals, and values will breed love. Deviant choices will always cause destruction in a marriage.

• Love always protects – It is our duty to protect our spouses. Protection comes in the form of physical protection, emotional protection, social protection, and spiritual protection. You should never let another person, regardless of who it is, say negative statements about your spouse. You should always protect the honorable actions that your spouse exhibits. If your spouse has made a deviant choice, then you certainly are not going to protect your spouse from the consequences of that choice, but you will protect your spouse from gossip, twisted truths, and judgment from others. (No one has the right to judge another person)

• Love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres – When a person has a level of morals and values and integrity that sets a foundation for a person's honorable character; then that person's spouse should give the benefit of the doubt when needed, should hope for the best even in difficult situations, and should maintain determination to persevere through that trial.