Thankful - but not self serving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Today is a day that we give thanks for the many people in our lives. We also give thanks for our many blessings. And we give thanks for our many accomplishments. Actually, you should be thankful for these things every day of your life. And today should be a day to reflect upon being thankful every day of your life.

Here is another thought. When we talk about being thankful, we are thinking of ourselves. The ideas are “my life”, “my blessings”, “my accomplishments”, “my family and friends.” This is not a bad thing. After all, how can you be thankful if you are not thinking of yourself. And in my professional world, teaching people to have gratitude is a step in their treatment process. It does not matter if a person needs treatment for depression or anxiety; it does not matter if they come in as a couple in need of couple’s counseling. Gratitude is an important step in their process. Excellent tools such as gratitude journals have certainly increased positive mindsets for hundreds or thousands of people. And practicing gratitude is a step toward increased happiness and life satisfaction.

But should we be completely self-serving? Do we not experience joy when someone we love is joyful? Do we not experience hurt when someone we love is hurting? Are we not happy for people we love when they get married, have children, or thrive in a career? Do we not experience a sense of thankfulness when we see a social media story about someone who we will never meet experiencing a positive event? Then why not focus on being thankful in a non-self-serving manner as well?

I am thankful for everything and everyone who has touched and enriched my life. I am very thankful for God’s blessings upon my life.

And, I am thankful that most of my colleagues are satisfied with their career choices, which makes our professional field thrive. I am especially grateful that there are many like me who know they have a calling on their lives to nurture and counsel others. I may never meet these people, but they are doing a good thing in our world.

I am thankful for the happiness in the lives of my children and grandchildren. I can never be a part of all the people and events which bring them joy, but their lives are thriving.

I am thankful for the strangers who have helped those that I hurt in my personal life to heal.

I am thankful for a God who is always consistent and trustworthy even in the midst of bad life events.

I am thankful when I see people smiling while sitting in rush hour traffic. I have no clue as to why they are smiling, but smiling is a positive sign.

These gestures are not self-serving. Yes, they impact me in a positive manner. However, they do not directly create an increase in my life. The focus is on being thankful for people, blessings, and accomplishments that are separate from me. I focus on this because it is also important to serve others. We can not always focus on self serving ideas. When we focus on self-serving concepts, we are disconnecting and isolating ourselves. Sometimes, taking ourselves out of the equation all together will give you a purpose, a perspective, and something for which to be grateful. And as we have already shown, being grateful is a positive step toward increased happiness and life satisfaction.